god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it's like heaven, but drunker
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
