Me too!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
