if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
