What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
