oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
