you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
