so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
