They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
