dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wish they made helmets for livers.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
