..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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