Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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