is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
