idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize