WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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