he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
