I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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