I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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