I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
