If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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