At least make sure they are 18
Why
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
