No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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