You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
