Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
