When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
