There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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