just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
