If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
