Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize