The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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