if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Sponge bath it is.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
