this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
