everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This baby is an asshole
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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