$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
