I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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