Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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