one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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