Me too!
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize