when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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