DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize