I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
