no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
