So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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