Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You made out with two different species that night
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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