I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
