i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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