so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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