Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
