Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
