and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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