I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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