I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My ass is underappreciated
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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