glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
