I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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