I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
