4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
