I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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