I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
