i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
