It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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