I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm just crazy horny about you
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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