i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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