just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
