UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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